Thursday, November 28, 2013

Am I a creep?

The other day I took a piece of cake to go from a birthday party. I had every intent of eating it later that night after dinner, but I hadn't even made it a few blocks away from the party when I decided I wanted it right then and there. I fumbled around then pulled out a fork from my center console. After sensing some judgement coming from shotgun, I asked, "Doesn't everyone stash away an emergency fork?"

Apparently the answer is no, and according to my passenger, I am a weirdo.  I started to think of all the other things I regularly do that warrant stares from strangers or at least cause my friends to raise an eyebrow.  The more I thought about, the more I realized that I may or may not be a total creep.

On that note, I was wondering does anyone else...

Make ugly faces at yourself in the mirror just to see how disgusting you can be?

Run up the basement stairs on all fours because you know whatever is down there is about an inch away from grabbing your ankle and dragging you back to hell with it?

Find food in your cleavage from God knows when and eat it anyway?

"Dougie" while in the shower?

Have more conversations with your pet than actual people?

Eat one of everything in the house because string cheese, four Cheetos, a handful of M&Ms, two strawberries, a few bites of cold pizza, and a Pop Tart are a perfectly acceptable dinner?

Chug a ton of water then push your stomach out as far as it will go and walk around with your hands behind your back like you are pregnant just to see what you would look like simultaneously scaring your boyfriend and yourself shitless?

Pull up next to the person who cut you off, roll down the window and clap/congratulate them on beating you to a red light? (I am totally going to get murdered one day for sure.)

Randomly talk in weird accents when calling Comcast or someone you have never met?

Constantly moon your best friend because they never tire of seeing your giant pale ass at random?

live in a musical where any situation or mundane task can be turned into a song?

Press all the buttons on the controller at the same time as hard and fast as possible rather than take two seconds to actually learn what the three of them do?

Uh yeah, me neither.

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