Recently at work, I was
helping a mother plan her 20-year-old daughter’s wedding. Yes, you read that
correctly; she was 20 and conveniently found her soul mate while sitting next
to him on a bus. Personally, the only thing I have found on public transit was
an overwhelming scent of urine or a guy having a heated argument with himself…
When her mom asked me to draw
inspiration from my own wedding, I had to explain that all my ideas were piping
hot from my brain oven since I have never been married. What I experienced next
went something like this…shocked face, quick recovery, confused stare, head
tilt, look of pity, offer to set me up.
I explained that while her
nephew seemed like a lovely individual, I was not interested in having coffee
with him directly after our meeting. She
continued to ask me if I was still looking for the one or if I was simply
focusing on my career, and while her questions seemed to get more intrusive and
extremely along the lines of “What’s wrong with you?!” I tried to direct her
attention to mason jars and homemade mercury glass…”Ooooh, ahhhh…Have you been
on Pinterest?”
In reality I felt like
saying, “You know. I probably shouldn’t have drunk that vile of gypsy tears
when I was 8. Now I am cursed to die alone. What can you do though? They triple dogged
dared me…”
As she continued to eye me up
and down looking for a tail or extra finger, I began to wonder why people
assume there must be something wrong with you if you are over the age of 30 and
not married. You can be in a committed relationship with someone, even living
with them, but if you two don’t feel the need to define your partnership with a
piece of paper, you might as well adopt a dozen cats and hang Cathy comics on
your fridge.
Her daughter was sure she had
found her soul mate before she could legally drink or gamble and no one
questioned her, yet if you are over 30 and un-wed, you get nothing but
questions. I know when I was 20, I was making out with everything with a pulse
while simultaneously losing shoes all over the city, but I get we are all on different
paths…
Life is not always a Disney film
where you wake up on your 16th birthday and find the man of your
dreams. Perhaps he shows up in your 30s or 40s.
Perhaps he is like a fine George Clooney wine and it’s better to wait
until its reached peak potential before consuming. Maybe you have already met
him but don’t see the point in spending your life savings/acquiring crippling credit
card debt to prove your love because picking up his stinky socks and washing
his underwear are proof enough. If you
are happy, and he is happy, don’t let Beyoncé’ bully you into thinking you need
a ring to justify it.
Either way being over 30 and
having to check a “Miss” box on an important document is not the end of the
world. If I’ve learned anything from reality television it’s that divorce is
much worse so don’t let anybody make you feel like a leper because your prince still
hasn’t arrived on his magic carpet belting out show tunes. Plus, something
tells me if he likes to sing that much, it wouldn’t have worked out anyway.
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