Friday, July 26, 2013

Still awesome.

I wrote a part two of "Things I will never be good at" so I figured I would do the same for "Things I am awesome at" to keep my ego balanced. What can I say, what I lack in some ways, I make up for in others. Try not to be jealous of all my special skills.

I am also awesome at..

coming up with amazing band names like "Surprise Vaginas."

walking in really high heels even when I am drunk (and constantly trip over my bare feet sober).

telling myself my diet starts tomorrow...every day.

losing my phone when it is on silent.

deciding I need to do laundry or clean my apartment at 3 am when I previously had the whole day off but chose to spend it alternating between eating, napping, and watching old One Tree Hill re-runs on Soap Net (don't judge me).

attracting the creepiest guy in the bar and having him offer to buy me a roofie colada.

pulling a Houdini out of the bar leaving my friends to wonder if I have been sold into sex slavery or if I am sleeping in my hall way.

going grocery shopping and eating every thing I bought in one day, leaving me to eat condiments for at least a week until I go back.

finding stationary objects perfect for photo ops. Why yes I do need to climb onto that giant polar bear and take a picture. I realize it is 12 feet tall.  Your point is?

remembering to take my birth control.  Ok fine, I will not take all the credit for this one. Your screaming child was a helpful reminder.

And here's some bonus awesome...Enjoy!

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