Middle (wo) man.

Amy Schumer recently posted  half naked photo of herself on instagram igniting a wide range of responses from my social media friends.  Said photo features Amy wearing nothing but her underwear, a pair of heels, and an awkward look on her face while drinking coffee. The thing that separates this photo from a thousand other ‘Oops, you accidently caught me enjoying some Starbucks in my Chonies’ photos happens to be her stomach, bearing a few fat rolls in plain view.

I personally love Amy (/hate her for living out my dream of making dick and fart jokes into a career), and I thought the picture was stunning. Not only does she looks gorgeous, but I wish her level of self esteem was taught right along with your ABCs. Personally, if I were asked to take a picture while sitting in my underwear, I would call upon the photo shop Gods and use a wide range of angles that would make MySpace jealous.

While many called her brave and congratulated her on her lack of fucks given others rated the photo a big fat yawn claiming she is only very slightly overweight and not some new fat girl role model picking up the pieces Lena Dunham dropped years ago.

Either way, the divide was clear; some friends though she was promoting a realistic representation of women while others thought she was a bit self-congratulatory on having a little extra around her middle and being confident enough to show it off. (Then there were my feminist friends who thought she should put some clothes on because a woman is “so much more than her body,” but that’s a whole other blog, and I have to work tomorrow…)

Basically, what from I gathered, it seems Amy is not fat enough to be accepted by the fat girls, but too fat to be accepted by the skinny ones. She is smack dab in this wonderful range I like to call to home, which others may refer to as “average.”

This got me thinking, where does that leave us normal girls?

We don’t get blogs or shares on Facebook or any representation really. There are runway models and plus sized models, but none in the middle ground. There are millions of us who walk the perfect line of bacon cheeseburgers and skinny jeans, but no one is depicting our slight muffin tops or ability to look 3 months pregnant for extended trimesters.

Sure, there was a Dove campaign years ago, but that came and went quicker than a Kardashian marriage. Plus, those women were photographed from flattering angles in perfecting lighting (not exactly the kind of picture you un-tag yourself from on Facebook for sporting the fat arm)…

It seems all we get is a constant state of confusion about whether to squeeze into the smaller size and tell ourselves we will lose five pounds or buy the bigger size and pray we can shrink it, but let’s be honest; we’ve been wishing that those five bastards away since college, and the only things that ever shrink are the ones you go through great lengths to keep from doing so. 

I realize Rome wasn’t built in a day so it’s going to be awhile before all the different size variations of women are going to be represented across widespread media, but until the world catches up, for the love of God can someone just start making some Smediums and Marges?