Thursday, March 7, 2013

More things I will never understand.

I'm only 5'2" so lots of things go over my head. Here is a list of some more things I will never understand...

(If you missed part one, you can find it here).

Why do men have nipples? Is it so we know when they are cold?

How to fold a fitted sheet.  I will inevitably try for 20 minutes, only to roll it into a ball and throw it into oblivion.

Why can't tattoos be licked on by kittens? Kissed on by puppies? Anything?

Why couldn't those greedy ass children share some of their cereal with that poor rabbit?  I get the whole "Trix are for kids," thing, but that is the rule you are choosing to follow? I'm willing to bet those little bastards will be sneaking into R rated movies under age or drinking before they are 21. I hope that rabbit confiscates their fake IDs.

Why so many girls claim to be "models."  Just because someone has taken your picture does not mean you're a model honey. If that is your definition of the word then my cat has a pretty successful modeling career since '01.

The whole "oversleeping" concept. If you are really tired and end up sleeping more than you planned, shouldn't that be a bonus leaving you feeling extra refreshed? That's like charging a battery so full, it leaves you at ten percent.

Why it is impossible to poop without playing on your iPhone. No seriously, it's just not possible. I'm kidding you guys, girls don't poop.

When I leave the house looking fabulous but look like I ate my former self in a photo taken shortly after.  Did I gain 75 pounds on the car ride over?

Why I continue to buy things that are dry-clean only.  What that really means is I will buy you, wear you five times, and never see you again.

How can people be vegetarians when bacon exists?  Have you seen fake bacon?  Look at this bullshit.

No comments:

Post a Comment