Friday, May 24, 2013

Radio killed the radio star.

As you all know, I have been sick and stuck at home. This evening while I was enjoying a nice Soup-at-Hand in the bath (I can't drink wine so I improvised), I decided to call a good friend of mine to catch up. His wife is a loyal reader of my blog, and she was complaining how I don't write daily. I explained that I update my blog when I have inspiration, and my thought process doesn't have a set schedule. If I was constantly full of bright ideas, I would write every day, but most days I am lucky if I don't leave the house with my underwear on inside out.

In an attempt to get my creative juices flowing, she asked her daughter what she thought I should write about and she suggested music.

I love music, but what I enjoy isn't on any top 10 charts. I hardly listen to the radio unless I am using it as background noise in the car (when my phone is dead). A few months ago I caught the MTV music awards, and I literally had no idea who half of those people were. Plus, no one cares to read another blog about music...unless of course it's my blog right!?

In my cough medicine induced state, I thought it would be fun to turn on the radio and see what the kids are listening to these days (and if you consider having your ears bleed fun, then yes, I had a ball).

I figured I'd endure ten songs and report my findings. Here is what I heard, and in case you are out of the loop like me, I thought I would fill you in...

Am I the best or what?

1. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis "Thrift shop." 

Last time I checked, wasn't it cool to sing about how much money you are wearing in gold chain form or about making it rain on them hoes? When did it become cool to be broke? I mean, if being broke is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

P.S. Macklemore, you didn't make thrift shops cool again, hipsters did. This song should be called, "Late to the Wicker Park party."

2. Florida Georgia Line "Cruise."

"I have bad grammar and like to drive slowly."  Is that what this song is about? I trailed off, sorry.

3. Icona Pop "I love it."

She wants to sound like a really fun, free, independent woman, but let's call this what it is...a psycho ex girlfriend. If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, and drives your car off a bridge, it is crazy.

4. Pitbull and Christina Aguilera "Feel this moment."

I literally have no idea what this song is about. He is giving himself numerous nicknames and singing contradictions that are half in English/half in Spanish, while she is singing about a castle...White Castle I assume cause we all know she's hungry.

5. Taylor Swift's "We are never, ever, getting back together."

Basically this is a song about a stupid girl who forgave her ex a billion times then finally decides to kick his ass to the curb for good...unless, let's be honest, he starts working out and gets really hot. Or rich. I mean never say never, ever.

6. Avril Lavgine "Here's to never growing up."

I liked this song better when it was called, "We are young" by F.U.N. Sure these songs are catchy now, but when either randomly play in 20 years, you'll be crying into your wine.

7. Carly Rae Jepson "Tonight I'm getting over you."

"Tonight I'm getting over you because I'm getting under someone else.  Once he sneaks out, and I wake up...I'll be writing more songs about you though so don't you worry....or maybe worry a little lot."

8. Justin Timberlake "Mirrors."

"You remind me of myself, and I really like myself so that's perfect. If you leave there will only be one of me, so stay at least until I get cloned...I mean, I love you."

9. Demi Lovato "Heart attack."

"I want to fight you, while you make me want to complete basic feminine hygiene routines, but I can't be the kind of girl who can love you because I will have a blockage in my coronary artery."  Did I get this right?

10. Pink and Nate Ruess "Give me a reason."

"Shit. I confessed in my sleep that I don't like you anymore, but I guess I'm relieved that's all I confessed (and not that tranny I banged in Mexico) let's continue pretending we still like each other cause that's what we call marriage."

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