Sunday, June 2, 2013

You're so vain. You probably think this blog is about you.

Recently I made a generalized statement on my Facebook (no names mentioned) and some guy took it so personally, he felt the need to write a negative blog about me. I mean, wow. I never got my very own blog before! I felt so special to know that my little ole opinion could make someone lose sleep at night.  I must be moving up in the world.

I am not going to name names or put up his picture like he did because I am a grown up. I was actually more amused that I didn't use anyone's name, yet he was so sure it was about him. Plus the more I thought about it, the more I felt sorry for him. I mean, he is almost 40 years old, and he is attacking a little woman via the internet. Somebody's daddy didn't play enough catch with him when he was little... 

I figured he probably could use some attention so I would return the favor, I mean someone needs to help the poor little bugger out.  He needs a big hug and from what I hear, a shot of penicillin. 

I decided to make a list of a few things he could do to release some of that pent up aggression so he can finally transition from Regina George to a woman we can all respect and admire.

He could...

buy a dozen puppies and give them all names like "Cuddles" and "Buttercup."

watch endless re-runs of "The Brady Bunch" and "The Partridge Family" until he feels all warm and fuzzy inside. Come on get happy!

eat cupcakes, chocolate, ice cream, cookies, and pies until he feels he has adequately eaten his feelings, his negative feelings that is...

take a trip to Disneyland.  I mean, it is the happiest place on Earth. Although at this point, he may need to just move into Cinderella's castle...

soak in a hot bath filled with bubbles and the subtle scent of lavender. It should help calm the nerves.

lay on the beach and soak up some Vitamin D. I hear that helps cheer up even the emo-est of boys.

read this, and laugh, and realize how ridiculous it is to be almost middle aged and still acting like a teenage mean girl.

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