This is why I drink.

Weather forecasts.

"It is going to be the worst storm of the century" (one rain drop).  "It is going to be a beautiful summer day" (50 degrees and pouring in June). Can we all just agree that unless it's California and the forecast calls for sun, no one can really predict the weather? Well except maybe for Karen...

Owning a car in the city of Chicago.

I am lucky enough to live in an area with ample street parking, however parking anywhere fucking else makes me want to pound vodka shots until everyone is pretty.  Even if you are lucky enough to find an open spot, you still have to read about 643879 signs to make sure you won't be out $250 while wandering a rat infested vacant lot at 2 AM to get your car back.  You should also reserve a portion of your paycheck for all the side mirrors you will have to replace, another chunk for street cleaning or snow plowing tickets, and the rest towards ever rising gas prices.  At this point, I guess it's good you own a car since you will need to live it shortly.

Sad songs.

Like really sad songs that are sooooo good you can't stop listening to them, even though they make you want to kill yourself a little bit. Thank you iPhone for starting my day with "Tiny vessels" by Death Cab for Cutie, and following it up with, Bon Iver's "Skinny love." Maybe next you can play "City and Colour's "The way it used to be" so I can slit my wrists as I cry into my Cap'n Crunch.

Thank God for Bloody Marys and Mimosas.