You are an asshole.

If you are a vegetarian who eats meat "sometimes," you are an asshole.

If you are currently doing a juice cleanse, you're totally an asshole.

If I stop my car to let you cross the street and you don't at least pretend to put a hustle on, you are an asshole.

If you douse yourself in perfume or cologne because you like the smell, you are an offensive asshole.