I do what I want.

Those of you who know me, know I love to eat.

And drink. 

And eat some more. 

Even if you don't know me (but you read my blog), you don't need to be a rocket scientist to know how much I love food.  I would marry a Kuma burger if I could, however, we wouldn't make it to our honeymoon.

If you are anything like me, you are too busy doing the happy dance while you are eating to pay attention to portion sizes. Then, one fateful day while you were enjoying your bowl of Cap'n Crunch (finding your way through the maze on the back) you accidentally stumbled onto the nutrition facts.  You knew you had made a terribly wrong turn when you discovered your giant of bowl of cereal was in fact 3, ok ok, 4 portions.  Who, TELL ME WHO, eats 3/4 of a cup of cereal?  Surely it's not the Captain since he is not the poster boy for nutritional health...

It goes far beyond breakfast too.  I'm willing to bet most of you have finished a pack of Ramen and thought, "I could sure go for another one of the those." That would leave you consuming 4 portions of mediocre noodle product. I'm starting to think this has something to do with the "Freshman 15"...

I was curious as to how many peoples' meals I was actually consuming on any given day so I looked up some standard food portions...

Here are a few of my favorite...

Please.  If that's a portion, I am going to consume a whole casino's worth of cheese as well as three to four packs of playing crackers.

Oh, you're not showing me that the plate on the right is mine, while the left shows the rejects that get fed to the dog?  Fuck you.

Thanksgiving portions...

For a 2 year old?  How dare you even suggest I consume anything less than twelve times this on any given Turkey Day.

Sooooo this last one may or may not be accurate, but after finding out a muffin is three servings, I'm not sure what to believe anymore...