A day in the thoughts of Stephanie

Like my quote book, I keep another journal where I sometimes scribble down thoughts for future blog ideas.  Even though I have been so busy debating throwing out everything I own packing up my life for my move next week, I thought I would still give you friends some weekend entertainment.

So on that note, here a few random thoughts from this week...

I wish I was a cat so I could sleep all day, and it would be perfectly acceptable to be an asshole at random.

Those boys from One Direction sure are cute.
Am I a cougar?
Fuck I'm a cougar.
Wait, I think you have to be over 35 to be a cougar...
How old am I now?
It's hard to remember when you constantly lie about your age.

You can't get hungover if you never stop drinking.

I really want to kick that person who is bending over in the ass.
Am I am asshole?
Fuck. I am an asshole.

I wonder how many days I would have to give up food to be as thin as Natalie Portman.

Meanwhile, rich people are eating food infused with gold while I am over here eating Ramen directly out of the pot since all my bowls are dirty.

I just saw a guy with a neck tattoo and thought, "Yum."
What is wrong with me that the more degenerate a guy looks, the hotter I think he is?
Why can't I be attracted to guys named "Brock" or "Donovan" who have popped collars and Swiss bank accounts?
I'm sorry Mom.

I will spend 75 dollars to win that toy that is only worth about a buck fifty because it's the principle, and I'll show you who's boss.

Why did I buy these Oreos?
Oh yeah, for my "cheat day."
Stop lying to yourself, every day is your cheat day.
Damn it.
Well, it's probably best I eat the entire bag, you know, to get them out of the house.

When Taco Bell says "Fourth Meal," don't they really mean "Drunkfast?"

When no one is around I like to jump on my bed and make animal shadow puppets.
Next person who tells me to grow up is not allowed in my fort.