So on that note, here a few random thoughts from this week...
I wish I was a cat so I could sleep all day, and it would be perfectly acceptable to be an asshole at random.
Those boys from One Direction sure are cute.
Am I a cougar?
Fuck I'm a cougar.
Wait, I think you have to be over 35 to be a cougar...
How old am I now?
It's hard to remember when you constantly lie about your age.
You can't get hungover if you never stop drinking.
I really want to kick that person who is bending over in the ass.
Am I am asshole?
Fuck. I am an asshole.
I wonder how many days I would have to give up food to be as thin as Natalie Portman.
I just saw a guy with a neck tattoo and thought, "Yum."
What is wrong with me that the more degenerate a guy looks, the hotter I think he is?
Why can't I be attracted to guys named "Brock" or "Donovan" who have popped collars and Swiss bank accounts?
I'm sorry Mom.
I will spend 75 dollars to win that toy that is only worth about a buck fifty because it's the principle, and I'll show you who's boss.
Why did I buy these Oreos?
Oh yeah, for my "cheat day."
Stop lying to yourself, every day is your cheat day.
Well, it's probably best I eat the entire bag, you know, to get them out of the house.
When Taco Bell says "Fourth Meal," don't they really mean "Drunkfast?"
When no one is around I like to jump on my bed and make animal shadow puppets.
Next person who tells me to grow up is not allowed in my fort.