My quote book.

I keep a little notebook in my purse, and I write down funny things my friends say.  This tradition started when a drunk friend of mine (who had been cut off by her boyfriend) yelled, “You can never free down a turned shot!” An instant classic was born.  I highly suggest all of you do this.  I know with my friends, there is never a dull moment.

I thought I would keep tonight’s entry light since I am still a bit brain dead from 6 days of thinking I can party like/with rock stars so I am going to share a few favorites from my book…

“I am so happy I just heard ‘November Rain’ on the radio.”  ”Ah man, lucky! I love Prince!”

“What are you laughing at? You’re next Grandma!”

“I’m getting chest pains in my stomach.”

“Push it real good is on!  Let’s go dance!”  ”I don’t think I am qualified to push it real good…”

“Obama’s no Nelly.”

“You can’t pull out AIDS.”

“Oh Dear God!  There is BBQ sauce everywhere!”

“I haven’t put my dick in anything since November!”

“I like to drink Vodka/waters to try to keep myself hydrated.”  ”I like to drink Vodka/salt waters to make myself feel worse.”

“Your nails are like running into your ex boyfriend…it’s just uncomfortable for everyone.”

“I’m going to punch you in the back of the forehead.”

“Imagine what the neighbors think…first they were making out, and now they’re touching their own butts.”

“No young girl wants you unless you can break this table with your dick.”

“I can’t go to prison…I’ll be fucked.  No literally, I will be fucked in prison.”

“Is that the same guy who wrote I hope they serve alcohol in beer?”