Alarm clocks are the Devil Bobby. Have you ever thought about this concept...I mean REALLY thought about it? It is a device to jolt you awake from a sound sleep...it is solely designed to scare (the shit out of) you awake. What a horrible way to wake up. Since I didn't die of a heart attack this morning, I'm going to celebrate with a mimosa.
Weight loss commercials...
Especially those where I look like the"before" picture. Thanks for reminding me you lost 70 pounds while I am eating cake for dinner. Now seems like the perfect time to pair my meal with a nice Riesling...
Meeting people for the first time/running into someone you haven't seen in awhile...
Do you wave hello? Handshake? Hug? What if they extend their hand while I am in mid wave? What if I am reaching out, but they aren't paying attention, and I'm left hanging? What if they move in for a hug while I am reaching for a handshake? It's all so awkward. Let's all get drunk and make it simple with high fives.
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