Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Let 'em watch.

I was out the other night for a friend's going away party. She is moving out of state, and it was the last time for us to get drunk and be obnoxious together for awhile. While most of the group spent the night sharing stories and making fun of each other's Instagrams, she was often nowhere to be found. She would periodically resurface to hug each of us and cry uncontrollably but mostly to play tonsil hockey with a guy she has been seeing.  Yes, tonsil hockey...I'm bringing it back.

This got me thinking about public displays of affection, aka PDAs, and how I feel about them. When I see two people going at it in public, my initial reaction is to scream, "Get a room!" However, rooms are expensive (and far), and the booth at the bar is right there so I try to let it slide without throwing too many random things at them.

PDAs are purely circumstantial though.  I don't recommend mauling each others' faces where people are eating or somewhere children are present like a public park. There is no need to scar any more of America's youth since there are plenty of children from Teen Mom who are already going to rob you in 20 years so keep it in your pants or else...

With that said, I'm all for drunk make out sessions at the bar...as long as you keep it PG-13. Unless you are both celebrity hot, no one wants to watch two average looking people dry hump by the pool table. Although, let's be honest, it hasn't stopped most of us in the past. Even if it was just one blurry night in college, you too have put on a public show worthy of a late night time slot on Cinemax.

Although shameful, your lack in judgement wasn't your fault since the intensity of your PDA is in direct correlation to how much alcohol you have consumed. The drunker you are, the more exciting your display will be and the less you will care about how many people are watching.  Had a drink or two?  You will sit on the same side of the booth and exchange a couple of kisses when no one is looking.  Finish a bottle of whiskey by yourselves?  You two are about to put on an award winning performance while a group of frat boys cheer you on. It's not that you two don't want to get a room, you are just too drunk to remember where you live.

Even though PDAs will always be disgusting to those not involved, try not be too much of a hater next time you see two lovers making out.  You've been there before, and you'll be there again. Next time you are, it's more than likely you will never see half of those people again anyway, and you are so wasted you wouldn't remember if you did so honestly, who cares if they see you eating that hot guy's/girl's face at 2 am.  Making out is awesome, and you're only young and unapologetic once so I say, fuck it. Let 'em watch.

1 comment:

  1. Ha. Well put. Very relevant considering how much alcohol was consumed last night!