Thursday, October 18, 2012

Anonymous asked: What are your thoughts...


Hey Steph, What are your thoughts when an ex wants you back saying that they changed and they lost something special?
 Anonymous
Exs wanting people back is a common occurrence …You never how good something is until it’s gone…and you see someone else realizing how good it actually is.
As far as changing goes, saying you have is one thing but proving you have is a whole other story.  I think people can change certain things about themselves, but who you are is who you are.  For example, if you are an angry drunk, you can give up drinking, but the minute you decide to have a drink, you are right back to where you started. 
While I do believe in second chances, they are circumstantial. Did this person (your ex) make a simple mistake that can be forgiven or is it something that you can not get past?  If you are going to harbor the anger of what happened, there is no point in pretending  it didn’t happen and trying again.  If he cheated you may never be able to forget, and your trust is forever broken.  Only you truly know if you can get over whatever broke you up in the first place.  
If the problem is something re-occurring (for example he is a drug addict who promises to quit but never does), then I say it’s time to move on.  Even if you do believe in second chances, you shouldn’t believe in thirds and fourths…

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